New guidance addresses trauma recovery when high-conflict contact continues through court, children, family, or finances.
-- New Leaf Psychotherapy LLC, led by Barbara Duchnowski, LCSW, Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician, has announced a trauma-informed guidance focus for adults recovering from narcissistic abuse, coercive control, and high-control relationship dynamics in 2026. The guidance is designed for people whose recovery is complicated by ongoing contact through co-parenting, divorce, family obligations, court proceedings, or financial entanglement.
The focus reflects a clinical concern often missed in common recovery advice: not every survivor can fully separate from the person who caused harm. Many adults continue to manage shared custody exchanges, legal communication, estate disputes, workplace exposure, or financial negotiations long after the relationship has ended. New Leaf Psychotherapy LLC is emphasizing support that treats the lasting impact as both emotional trauma and nervous system dysregulation, rather than as a simple matter of closure or communication skills.
Recovery Advice for Ongoing Contact
Much public advice about narcissistic abuse centers on cutting contact, identifying a repeated relationship cycle, and waiting for attempts to re-engage. Duchnowski said that framework can help some people, but it does not fit every survivor. Some people experience a cold discard without further pursuit. Others cannot go no contact because children, court orders, money, caregiving, or family systems require some level of interaction.
“A lot of the advice is written for people who can walk away. Many of the people in my office cannot. Court, children, or money keep them in contact, and the hoover they were told to expect never came,” said Duchnowski. In this context, “hoover” refers to a pattern in which a former partner or controlling person attempts to pull someone back into the relationship or dynamic.
The new guidance encourages a more specific recovery question: what helps a person stay regulated when contact is unavoidable. For many adults, the goal is not an ideal relationship with the other party. It is the ability to complete an exchange, answer a legally necessary message, or attend a family event without losing hours or days to fear, confusion, anger, or self-doubt.
Treating the Nervous System, Not Just the Story
New Leaf Psychotherapy LLC describes the impact of coercive or high-control dynamics as more than a painful memory. For many clients, the body continues to respond as if the threat is present, especially when a message arrives, a court date approaches, or a child exchange is scheduled. That reaction can include hypervigilance, shutdown, racing thoughts, sleep disruption, physical tension, and difficulty making decisions.
“You can do the therapy and still feel unfinished. That does not mean you failed. It often means the body is still treating contact as a threat, because the contact has not actually ended,” Duchnowski said.
The practice uses Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, commonly known as EMDR, clinical hypnosis, Internal Family Systems or parts work, and body-based regulation strategies. These approaches are used to support trauma processing, reduce emotional flooding, and help clients identify the beliefs and body responses that remain active after the high-control relationship. The work is not framed as a diagnosis of another person. Instead, it focuses on the client’s injury, functioning, choices, and safety planning.
Practical Steps for Contact Days
The guidance from New Leaf Psychotherapy LLC highlights the importance of preparing for contact rather than relying on willpower during contact. For people navigating high-conflict co-parenting or divorce, that preparation may include a written communication plan, neutral language for necessary exchanges, and a short regulation practice before and after messages or in-person interactions.
Grey rock, a term often used to describe emotionally neutral and minimal responses, can be useful in some situations. However, the practice cautions that it is not a complete treatment plan. People may also need support in recognizing escalation patterns, documenting communication when appropriate, separating urgent issues from emotional pressure, and returning the body to baseline after an interaction.
“Success on a contact day is not a perfect co-parenting moment. It is getting through the exchange and still having a sense of calm that belongs to you,” Duchnowski said.
The guidance also addresses the harm caused when survivors are told to “get over it” or are advised that both parties simply need better communication. “‘Get over it’ and ‘you are both responsible’ land like a second injury when the harm was callous and strategic, not a 'just learn to communicate better in relationships' problem,” Duchnowski said.
A Focused Model for Adults in New Jersey and Beyond
New Leaf Psychotherapy LLC provides telehealth therapy across New Jersey for adults recovering from narcissistic abuse, high-control romantic or family dynamics, and complex trauma. The practice offers 50-minute sessions and a six-week intensive option for appropriate clients. Private pay is common, and some clients may seek partial out-of-network reimbursement through eligible PPO plans. Medicare, Medicaid, and NJ FamilyCare are not accepted. A 15-minute consultation is available to assess fit, and the service is not emergency care.
Duchnowski also provides coaching services globally, separate from psychotherapy services, for adults seeking education and structured support around high-control relationship recovery. Additional information is available through the practice website at New Leaf Psychotherapy LLC, as well as on Instagram and Facebook. Prospective clients may also view scheduling information and public profile details through Duchnowski’s Zocdoc profile or email [email protected].
The announcement reflects a narrower and more practical approach to recovery: support for adults who are not only leaving or processing a harmful relationship, but also trying to remain functional while contact, court, children, money, or family systems continue to keep the dynamic in view.
About New Leaf Psychotherapy LLC
New Leaf Psychotherapy LLC is a New Jersey telehealth psychotherapy practice founded by Barbara Duchnowski, LCSW, Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician, EMDR therapist, and Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapist. The practice focuses on adults recovering from narcissistic abuse, coercive control, high-conflict co-parenting, family control dynamics, and complex trauma. Services include trauma-informed psychotherapy, EMDR, clinical hypnosis, parts work, and somatic regulation strategies.
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Name: Barbara
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Organization: New Leaf Psychotherapy LLC
Website: https://newleafpsychotherapyllc.com/
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